- Good morning, Mr. Magistrate. - Good morning. What a shame !
- Shall we proceed? - Immediately !
By virtue of articles 528 of the penal code...
..and 146 of the code of criminal procedure!
Go.
Even at the "Golden Breast" shall we put the cap on?
What does that have to do with anything ? That's a girl of color! She is exoticism, not eroticism!
Wake up, Chancellor! Exoticism is not a crime. Clear ?
If she says so, Mr. Magistrate... Excuse me.
20 minutes until midnight!
The second marathon organized in Rome It only started two hours ago...
...and there are already the first withdrawals.
It's six in the morning... or in the evening.
These guys are for real formidable: they've been dancing for 26 hours!
Carla, open your eyes!
- If you fall asleep and make me lose the race, I'll kill you! - Come on...
Carla! Come on ! Bitch, get up! Come on !
Crack !
Franco... Come on, don't worry...
- You burst out like a "squintia". - It's sleep that got me.
Meanwhile I lost the race!
But it's the last time I'm a couple with a paralytic like you! Clear ?!
Hurray! Hurray!
Thank you ! Thank you !
She sure knows how to move her legs! With her I would win every race!
Don't talk bullshit!
That's the end of the world! He has everything: agility, class, imagination!
Idiot !
- Am I wrong, or do they "smoke you"? - You said it.
- I was convinced that you would win. - Me too.
Charlie, do you know the blonde one?
I think her name is Anna. Why ? Are you interested?
- Yes. I would like to pair up with her. - And Nicole agrees?
Who cares about Nicole. If it continues to act jealous, I almost tear her up.
She-Sorry. Do you know that you dance very well? - Thank you. You're doing well too.
- Would you like a cigarette ? - Why not ?
- We haven't met before somewhere ? - I do not believe.
Strange. It seemed.
I'd like to pair up with you, if you have nothing against it.
I have to think about it.
It might even be a nice thing, but I have to think about it. Do you come here often?
Yes, almost every evening. So, have you thought about it?
What a rush! Give me time, right? You're the impatient type, aren't you?
Now excuse me, but I have to go. HI.
Anna! When you have decided, give me a call.
Ok, I'll give you a shout.
I, instead of a whistle, I'd get a blowjob.
Holy shit Judas...
Nicole, are you there?
What, are you angry?
Nicole, are you in the bathroom?
"I hate you. I'm not willing anymore to tolerate your betrayals."
"I'm going to jump off the bridge where I had the misfortune of meeting you."
"Goodbye. Nicole."
Nicole! Nicole!
So, what happened?
My girlfriend... committed suicide.
Well ! That is, bad! Very bad ! Especially for her!
- For me ? -Everything is fine for you, you understand.
First you deceive them, you make them fall in love, you get them pregnant and then abandon them.
And the poor things they cut their wrists! Or not ?
No ! She jumped from Ponte Milvio.
- Ponte Milvio is not ours competence. - As ?
- You got the wrong police station. Happens. - Happens.
My girlfriend died and you just know tell me I got the wrong police station?!
What do you have instead of a heart? Sandpaper?
- So, what's happening? - These are two "sexual men".
- They sold the Colosseum to a Canadian tourist. -
Actually, we gave it away, doctor. He was so nice!
We were joking! Among "bucaioli"... And then, we didn't understand much with the language.
Out ! No, inside! We are reporting you for scam and obscene acts in a public place!
Ten years no one will take them away from you! Take them away!
Have you seen the world we live in? Where are you going, excuse me?
- To the competent police station. -No, you sit here. Come.
Tell me the facts. At this point we are dancing and we have to dance.
- Nice one, write. - Here, exactly, we went dancing. There was a competition.
-Nicole doesn't know how to dance and she was sitting down. Then I realized... - He noticed...
Nicole was no longer there, then I rushed home.
It was all a mess, and on the mirror Nicole had written about the bathroom...
..that she wanted to throw herself from the bridge where we first met.
-You never forget the first time. - Marshal! And then ?
- Then I ran to Ponte Milvio. - So ?
Nicole's purse was on the floor.
- Nicole's handbag! Nothing else ? - No.
- By any chance, do you have a photo of the girl? - Yes, I think so.
You took the wrong photo.
No, it's from two years ago, when Nicole he was doing military service.
Nicole, at the registry office, His name is Nicola Proietti.
Jesus... Sorry, explain better. What did you say your name was?
Franco Astuti, was Carmelo.
- So, if I understood correctly, too you two would be ...-she Got it right.
Spare me adjectives like "foul", "sleazy" and "repugnant", please!
Ready, just like that! Action !
- "Confess! You have lain with Satan!" - "Yes! And I want to lie there again!"
"Screw your devil in my hell!"
Sexier! Sexier!
"Screw your devil in my hell..."
Stop! Wonderful ! And now let's do the devil's reverse shot!
- Call the devil! - The devil is sick, doctor. He sent his brother.
Here I am ! I'm the devil!
- You ? - Why ? Am I not doing well? I even smelled of sulfur!
No ! You want to ruin me!
I can imagine everything except that Satan is a "queer"! For charity !
Now let's move on with the chastity belt.
- I'm ready, doctor. - Are you ready, Anna? - Yes.
Now you come closer and put the chastity belt on her.
Couldn't you do without it? I already have the cassock!
That's not enough, you also need a belt. It's a censorship problem.
- Of course it's necessary!- - Doctor ! - What's up ?
The chastity belt broke. A cucumber even passes through.
No, damn it! Get it fixed!
Not even a needle should pass through it! What's up ? You're sick ?
My head is spinning a little. I can go in pharmacy while you adjust your belt?
- Of course. - Thank you.
- Sister ? - I would like a pack of Confidelle.
- As ? - I said: "Confidelle"! This !
-Are you sure, sister? - Not yet. That's why I take the test.
- Good luck. - Thank you.
"Sorbole..." I regret and I regret it.
I'm ready to recite the "Act of Pain" and to go back to being a simple soldier.
- As ? Why, excuse me? - For our sins. Let's repent!
- Of what sins? - Of the ones we are about to commit.
- Aren't you ashamed? - Yes, I will be ashamed, but later!
- Wait! - Do you want to let me go? - No !
Street ! Street !
Hey ! Move away !
- Pretty ! "Mother's beauty"! - "Good"!
It's your business if the mother superior sees you!
- I saw the Madonna! I saw Madonna ! - It seems premature to me.
- Suicides, anything? - No, only three today "B.R.", two muggings and three bank robberies.
- But Roma won. - What time will the next edition come out?
- At five. - Thank you.
Did you understand ? Anna would be "Ninì Pompon".
- I'll take this. How much it is ? - 1500. - Thank you.
How disgusting. What ignoble commodification! Here is the sign of the times!
Here is the consequence of today's permissiveness...
...of the lack of moral values, civilians and family members!
- It's a real shame! Chancellor! - Commands, Mr. Magistrate.
- She doesn't feel deeply either sense of disgust? - Yes, Mr. Magistrate.
Look at those buttocks so vulgar, so obscene, so crass, so...
- Horny. - What do you say, excuse me? - Infamous, Mr. Magistrate.
It is a show that cannot be tolerated.
Do I have the screening interrupted?
I would like, but my sense of duty it stops me.
At the cost of staying here all day...
..I want to see all this rubbish that poison the new generations.
Where are we at, Chancellor?
We viewed: "Lady Mattress", "Night Janitor", "Deep Throat #3".
We still miss: "The porno-nun", "Intimate perversions of a midwife"...
..and "Briefs down, Supercacchio is coming".
- Here you are. Let's proceed. - Yes, sir. After you !
This is a movie by butt and sword!
Uncle Gustavo?
Who are you ? What are you doing here ?
I am the nephew of the praetor Sparvieri. Where is my uncle?
- At Cinema. - But it's midday!
It's been there since this morning and will stay there until tonight. War is war.
War is war!
They want to ruin morality of our country, but I screw them!
- Marshal! - Yes, sir !
Immediate seizure phonogram for the entire national territory!
It will be done, Mr. Magistrate!
Here we only think at a fair rent...
..Nobody cares of the relaxation of customs.
There are only a few of us left to act as a bulwark to the spread of pornography.
This is why we need to hold on, hold on!
Harder than that, Mr. Magistrate...
- Where you go ? - I have to see the magistrate!
- What happen ? - Sorry, uncle, but I have to talk to you.
Yes...
- What are you doing? - My duty...
You can know what good wind brings you?
Unfortunately, it's not a good wind.
I need some money to contribute at the expense of a funeral.
A funeral? Who died?
A friend. Poor thing... she jumped into the river for reasons of jealousy.
Gentleman... Was she married, this friend of yours?
- For more than two years. - I'm sorry about the husband.
Who do you tell? Dear uncle, today we are alive and tomorrow we are with water up to here.
- It could be your turn too. - Don't be a bird of ill omen!
Forget it. Listen, how much do you need?
100,000.
- Listen, I'll give them to you, but on one condition. - Meaning what ?
This afternoon he comes to me the Honorable Grisaglia. Maybe you know him.
He is the president of the Association for Christian morality.
- I wish you were there too. - Sorry why ?
The honorable member has a daughter.
He would be an excellent match for a nice guy like you.
And I won't hide from you that I would gladly see you engaged.
I ?
Agree ?
You'll see soon that Grisaglia and her daughter are here.
I don't know if this is the case, I have to go back in Rome! And then I don't even know her!
You will get to know her and you will like her.
Today you can't find any girls anymore so, without any worries...
- There he is ! Dear Honorable Member! - Dear praetor! - Is fine ?
A bit tired. I'm returning now from Rome, where I had a very tiring day.
I imagine. He succeeded to talk to the general?
Yes, and he appreciates it very much our work, the general.
I'll tell you he talked about it very high, but very high.
-We will certainly have his support. - I'm happy.
Allow me, Honorable, may I introduce you to my nephew Franco?
- Honorable. - "Enchanté."
She seemed to understand that he had come with his daughter. I err ?
- He's in the anteroom. She knows, she's a little shy. - I'll call her now. - Small !
Anna Maria Immacolata, come! I have to introduce you to some friends.
Good morning, excellent...
Miss Anna Maria Immacolata, Good morning !
They are back let the roses bloom!
Franco, don't just stand there! Say hello !
- Good evening. - Good evening.
Sorry, I'm signing two papers and I'll be with you right away.
- Please, Excellency, don't worry about us. - Thank you.
Uncle ! You can sign tomorrow, we can't make the honorable member wait with her daughter.
Please, please don't worry about the our presence. Duty first.
Thank you. Have you heard ?
- Wait, I'll help you! We'll do it first, right? - Thank you, Franco.
- Signature. - He's a golden boy.
Here you are...
- But, Franco! - Sorry, uncle. - These are important documents!
- It's a boy... - Please excuse him, sir.
It will be the gentle female presence.
Finally ! I couldn't take it anymore.
Luckily I only have to do it every now and then the daughter's "home and church" part.
- Why did you make all that mess? - For you. - For me ?
I had put it in my folder of my uncle to prank him:...
.. "Erotic obsessions of the inquisitor".
I was shocked when I saw you.
I understood that in addition to being Ninì Pompon you are the daughter of the Honorable Grisaglia.
Well, everyone has their family sins.
Anyway, thanks for saving the image of Anna Maria Immacolata!
And thank you also for offering me this passage to return to Rome.
Another hour in Spoleto and I would have died of boredom.
You don't have to thank me, but my uncle, he was the one who insisted.
He thinks he would even if we got engaged.
You're cute, and like Anna Maria Immaculate I would have nothing to say.
But now the time has come to go back to being Ninì Pompon.
What are you doing ? Are you looking? Haven't you ever seen a pair of legs?
Careful !
Hi, I'm going to work. Thank you for picking me up.
- Not at all. We will see each other ? - Perhaps. You me you have a bit of the effect of sad singers.
- Meaning what ? - Sing to women but think about guitarists.
HI !
Hey ! Call the police! Quick, call the police!
- Do you need a hand? - Yes ! - Pull a rope!
- What happened ? - They fished out a body.
- And who is it ? - She'll be the same old hooker.
Slowly, lift her up.
He's young.
I understand. Well. Very good, Commissioner.
Yes, certainly. Thank you for informing me.
We finally have it under control that "queer"!
The one about the suicide at Ponte Milvio?
They just fished out the body in the Tiber with a knife in his back.
We have to study well the action plan.
It's the right time: I trap a "faggot" and I get a promotion!
Cherie, we have all our things here, but if we're quiet for a bit...
..maybe we can work and to do our beautiful audition!
Daniel! My little darling, come on, you start!
Look at Gustavo "what a fanatic"! Who does he think he is ? A goddess ?
"Charme ! Élégance, charme !"
"Souriez, souriez..." Smile! No, my darling, that's not right!
You look like a longshoreman to me with flat feet!
Grace is needed! And then, poise!
"Charme! Élégance!" Look !
The class cannot be improvised! Too bad Nicole didn't come.
- Didn't you know? - You won't tell me that you broke up?
- This time forever. - I can not believe it !
- You'll see that everything will be fine, Nicole loves you. -She wanted me.
Stop being tragic! Only in death there is no remedy.
Precisely ! Nicole is dead, so there is no longer any remedy.
- Dead?! But when ? - The other night. She threw herself from Ponte Milvio.
But it's not possible! We were together to get massages this morning!
- As ? - I swear ! And she also seemed in excellent shape to me.
What a daughter of a bitch! Then she took the piss out of me!
Maybe he would take me...
- Guess who I am ! - Frank! - Well done, Nicole! You won a kiss.
Surprised ?
- What are you doing here? - I found the door opened and I entered.
I came to get my dress seriously that I forgot in the car.
About clothes: where did you get this?
It was here. I liked it and I wanted to try it.
- No ! Please take it off immediately. - As you like.
That's fine, or else should I take off anything else?
Don't just stand there! Put something on or you'll get cold!
But I'm so hot... Are not you hot ?
Yes... that is, no! I'm very cold!
- Do not look at me like this. - Why ? How should I look at you?
I don't know... You scare me!
- Are you afraid of me or women? - Of women ? No...
You're shy, I understood it immediately.
- What do you want to do ? - Rape me, come on!
- I ? It is not possible. - What's stopping you?
Your uncle wouldn't object, since he wants us engaged.
What are you doing ?!
- Nicole ! - Who is that?!
A girl...
I understood this, asshole! Are not you ashamed ?
Why should he be ashamed?
I can explain everything to you... It's a misunderstanding!
- Meaning what ? - I thought... you were dead.
Yes ? And instead of crying in pain Were you having fun with that little girl?
Are not you ashamed ?!
- Excuse me, but I think so of being too much. - Slut!
- What did you say ?! - Fuck you! - Ugly...
Frank! - Compliments, you are a perfect couple!
Hello, cuties!
Well?! What's there to laugh about?
I'm maybe uglier than that bitch? Do you perhaps find me ridiculous?
- Very ! - Yes ? Tie!
No ! Hooligan! Hooligan!
Coward! Traitor ! And what I wanted throwing myself off Ponte Milvio for you!
- No! - Now I'll kill you!
- Put the fuck down, it could be dangerous. - It can be dangerous for you!
Leave me ! You hurt my wrist! You hurt me ! Tie!
Ah!
Nicole! Did I hurt you ? I missed it!
Nicole, answer! Open your eyes ! Answers !
My God... He's not breathing anymore! Hate !
"Damn you"! Ouch... ouch...
She disfigured me! She disfigured me!
That brute! I'll make her pay! I'll make them pay for this!
Excuse me !
- It's urgent ! - Calm down! What happens ?
What should you do when someone falls and doesn't Does she open her eyes after getting punched?
- It's called 113 and a lawyer. -
Where are you going?
Here it is ! Come, come in.
- What is this little smell? - Essence of the forest.
Scent of a woman, everything is fine! Six in trouble, we discovered the body!
Already ? And how did you do it?
Intuition, deduction, Reaction times ! Right, Lobello?
- Dear boy... "Damn you"! Yours, Lobello! - Why ?
Because "alertness of reflexes" means make your butt pop! "Follow him"!
Sorry, monsignor, you saw a boy with forest essence?
Unfortunately no. If you happen to meet him, call us!
- Anna! Telephone ! Have you heard ? Telephone ! -Who is he?
A pain in the ass. He said he is matter of life or death. I don't know !
Excuse me.
Who is ? It's you. What ?!
Yes, dead! But it was unfortunate, you I swear ! I still can't believe it.
Then the police arrived and I ran away.
I can't tell you I don't care nothing: the other day you saved me.
Try not to get caught and stay safe wide. Come by here tomorrow evening. Okay?
Do you want to know something ? You're such an asshole!
- I'm not drunk! - I didn't say "drunk"!
- Good morning, Excellency. - Good morning. - There's a girl waiting for you.
A girl ? Could it be Professor Taddei?
I do not believe. The teacher is one redfish, this one is a stunner.
-How did you say it? - I said which is a charm, Mr. magistrate.
- Miss Anna Maria Immacolata! - Good morning, Doctor Sparvieri.
What a nice surprise ! I thought she was in Rome.
Indeed. I come now, I came to Spoleto for her.
- For me ? - Why ? She is sorry ?
No ! But what does she say, Miss Anna Maria Immacolata!
In fact, I'm flattered, I'm... Please have a seat!
But what a nice surprise! What a moment, what a moment!
Tell me, miss: How can I help you?
- Here, I... It's a friend of mine. -A friend of yours?
-Yes. He's in trouble. - Poor guy. I am sorry.
Big trouble: they accused him of murder.
Mimi! She's involved too in this story?
- No, I assure you that I... - That's better. - Excellency! - What's up ?
I did it ! I found a copy of that infamous publication!
Well done, Marshal! Then I'll think about it to fix this Ninì Pompon!
The magazine belongs to Punzi Salvatore, cousin on my mother's side.
He would love to have her back, having cost 1500 lire...
...and being a rare piece on the market.
Impossible ! It is under investigation judicial and subjected to seizure!
Besides, your cousin should stop with this kind of reading!
It will be good for him and for you!
- At your orders, Your Excellency! - Go Go. - Excuse me.
What was he telling me of this friend of his?
He would like some advice.
If you allow me, miss, this time I would like to give you some advice:...
..certain friends it is better to lose them than to find them.
A wrong relationship, remember, can destroy a youth.
But he has no relationship with me. We... we are like two brothers.
My friend just wants to know what is at risk in the event of murder.
He must believe me, I assure you of this boy is wrongly accused...
..for a series of unfortunate circumstances.
- Yes ? - So, what are the risks?
It depends, why the murder it's a... complex crime.
First of all we need to distinguish the various ones motivations according to the penal code.
For profit, for revenge...
...for trivial occasions, for political reasons...
..for vile reasons... with a sexual... background...
The background is certainly sexual.
- Yes, but... and the motive? - Legitimate defense!
- Is the victim a female? - Well, yes, yes!
- But what did he do?! - Nothing !
What, nothing?! She ruined me a precious body! A body of crime.
How will I identify the infamous Ninì Pompon?
- I am desperate... - I'm sorry, but I didn't do it on purpose.
- You have to believe me, you know? Calm down, please. - Gold... this is gold...
- Relax. - Gold...
Disturbance, perhaps?
Excuse me.
But what do you say, general? This she is the daughter of the Honorable ... Grisaglia.
But... we've already seen each other!
I don't think so, I haven't done it yet military service.
- But do you have a nun sister? - Ninth. - Ninth.
However, miss, remind your friend what the writer Marotta said:...
.."If they accused me of raping the Madonnina of the Milan Cathedral..."
"..I would first flee abroad and then I would clear myself."
In Italy with justice it's better not to have to deal with it!
- Especially when you are innocent. Right, general? - Yes ! Yes !
- But luckily she's a girl smart. - Very capable...
So there is nothing to fear.
Ladies and gentlemen, here's the big parade!
let's start with "La Grande Soirée Rosée".
Stupendous ! Then we have "Le Printemps du Paradis".
It really is a stunner.
And now, the third model: "Champagne de la Ville". Extraordinary.
Attention gentlemen, here is "Chiffon a la grand putain".
Here's "The Yellow Canary", or "Yellow little bird".
Here, look!
- I have to talk to you! - After. - After that it's too late!
Ladies and gentlemen, one big surprise: "Charleston Follies".
And now a model which will leave you all disconcerted.
Here's the wonderful thing "Naive country girl".
And now, "The blue orange sparrow".
But look at this stuff!
If our information is Exactly, we'll catch him here, in the chicken coop.
If it's there, the capon doesn't run away!
Here you are "Madame de Monna Checca".
"Merci" deserves applause truly, she is a delightful little girl.
What are you looking at, you pig!
And now, the highlight of the evening, the ultimate in chic.
An exclusive model entitled: "Virgin at the wedding".
Ladies and gentlemen, It's a thing...
"Regardez” the great waterfall of tulle on the snowy skirt...
..which hides secrets of a fabulous body.
A single spot of color, the bouquet of flowers.
Beautiful, is not it ? Applaud, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm gambling with my head: it's not here!
- Come on, love, go! - Don't make me ask you, stupid!
- Who reminds you of the one dressed white? - Ursula Andress!
Precisely. If you weren't sure that it's a man, I'd swear it's her.
To conclude...
..after the "Vierge magnifique" we have the latest model: "L'etoile d'argent”!
Street ! Let me pass!
What popped into your mind to take Fabiana's place?!
I will explain you after. I'm in trouble, Unfortunately. Nicole is dead.
- Still ? When ? - This morning. This time it's true, I killed her.
Failure has gone to your head. Nicole was here less than an hour ago.
Look ! He even gave me this as a gift.
But I gave this to him! She fucked me again!
- Hi, Charlie. - Hi blondy. What are you doing, a comic about the orphan girl of Pompeii?
I'm arriving now from the village. I couldn't stand it just more. Will you give me something to drink?
Right away.
By the way, when do you want it back the keys... I don't need them anymore.
Keep them, just in case.
But look! And I believed it. She had killed him,
"Sip"!
Careful, you're talking with Commissioner Pecorella!
You have to tell me if you know Franco Astuti.
According to the concierge, frequent this nightclub.
Well, I... I really...
I'm not sure, I don't think so.
- It's dangerous to lie to the police! - There's a murder involved!
He's a tall, blond boy, with light eyes?
- Do you know him ? - Certain. - Where do we catch him?
Here. He should be arriving any minute to the other, we have an appointment.
Be careful, he always goes around armed and it is very dangerous.
Armed?
I'd give it a hundred if she gave me a whistle.
The two of me... she would give me a blowjob...
- Are you coming to Piazza Navona? - Leave me alone!
The blonde is gone, it means that he has arrived, the capon!
In exactly one minute let's go on the attack.
It's not like you saw it that crazy crazy Nicole?
-She's gone, but she should come back. -She didn't tell you when she?
No. By the way: There are two cops up there looking for you.
Holy shit... You wouldn't have a job quiet where to spend the night?
I'm from the house of a "squinzia". You can go there if you want.
- The address ? - Via Di Panico, 31. - Thank you!
And he ! Stop him!
Marshal Lobello, what happens ?!
Lobello! What are you waiting for?! Turn on !
I can't, I can't see shit.
Commissioner! Soon, he hid here, in the wardrobe!
Inside there !
- You open ! It's better for you ! - I'll take care of it, doctor! - Think about it !
But what do you want? One can never do it a little job in peace! Curse !
What are you doing ? The voyeur?
- I ? No. - I thought that certain shows you weren't interested in.
-How did you get in here? - Charlie gave me the keys.
- Charlie? - Truly, I didn't know you lived there.
No ? - No. But, dear, You can see that... we earn,
Where do you come from ? From your friend's funeral?
No! It was all a misunderstanding, Nicole isn't dead, she just...
-She only has a black blindfold! - And how do you know? - Forget it.
Say something, right? Say I'm stupid, stupid, but don't make that face.
- After all, it's your fault! - This is nice !
If you hadn't undressed yesterday, Nicole wouldn't have been so angry.
And I wouldn't be in trouble with two cops who are chasing me! Who knows why.
I like to undress, I don't find anything wrong with it.
And then what did I know that you were a "queer"?!
Look Who's Talking ! Nini Pompon! Excuse me, are you normal?
View ? At most I'm... ambidextrous.
- This still remains to be proven. - I'm ready to prove it to you.
- Yes ? Really ? - Wait.
But what a complaint! They give me a "blow job"!
Well done, well done, go!
Charlie! You saw that son of a whore Franco?
-Yes.-Where is he? - At a friend's house.
- From a friend? - Via Di Panico, 31.
Hey, what a rush!
Come on, wait for me over there.
I'll do it in a moment.
Hello, Commissioner? It's me, the blonde from the disco.
Franco Astuti is at my house, in via Di Panico 31, internal 16.
Good, but be careful, he has a gun.
Speed ​​up! That's a sex maniac, he would be capable of killing the blonde.
-She is too "good", I would be sorry. - Then hurry up! - I'm hurrying!
Frank?
Frank! Fran...
Anna! Anna, don't leave me alone... I don't know how to be alone, right?
Anna!
A girl dressed up as a transvestite! I had never thought about it, you know?
Anna, you know that if you put yourself Nicole's clothes and wig...
..it happens like last time.
- This time the dead man it really gets away! - Nicole!
But it won't be me! Goodbye love !
Frank! Poor Franco! Excuse me, Love ! It was madness, I didn't want it!
Frank, no! I did not want to ! Tell me something ! Tell me you're alive!
- I think so. - Forgive me, dear! How are you ?
Maybe I'm dead and I'm already in heaven...
No, you're not in heaven, you are leaving for Rebibbia!
Get up ! The farce has gone on long enough! So, you wanted to kill this one too,
- Actually, she shot me. He. - Yes ?
- Yes, it was me. - But then Who owns this gun?
- That gun belongs to me. - As ? To her ?
- Yes, but it's a dog swatter. - A dog repeller? Marshal Lobello!
- At your orders, doctor! - Three pairs of handcuffs!
Silence ! Here I ask the questions!
Before starting, I want to clarify that here you risk life imprisonment! Clear ?
So... you, miss, Is it by any chance Nicola Proietti, aged 23?
- Yes, it's me, in person! - Don't get nervous, because it makes me nervous!
- I don't understand why he has it so much with us. - You do not understand ? - No.
Did you hear that, Marshal? He does not understand because we are so angry with them.
- Actually, I didn't understand either. - Shut up !
Mr Commissioner, I think I can explain everything to you.
On purpose, what did you say your name was?
My name is Anna Maria Immacolata Grisaglia.
- And you too were a Bersagliere. - The Bersagliere? But what does it mean ?
- Don't act like a "gnorri" with me, lad ! I know everything ! - Boy, me?
I understand: you think I'm like Nicole, right?
- Marshal! - Doctor, I'm here extremes for outraging modesty!
Not yet, Marshal. The young lady could continue.
Enough of that, instead!
She really she wants to send us everyone in jail?
Just everyone, no. The two of them, yes!
Do you know that you would be making a big mistake? And then I would have to sulk.
- The pout? To me ? - Yes, treat so bad my friends for a misunderstanding...
- A misunderstanding?! - Certain !
She accused me of Nicole's murder, instead Nicole is here alive and well.
It was just out of jealousy who faked suicide...
.. then she disappeared making it seem like I killed her.
- Really ? Well, if things they're like this...-do you let us go?
Yes, yes... Wait a minute! One last formality.
Let's see if you recognize it this girl. She ?
- No, I don't think so. - No. And you?
She reminds me of someone, but I couldn't say who exactly.
He does not know. Let's hear what he says our "unknown soldier".
- There's little to offend! - Look here!
To me she looks like Carla, that one that she danced at the marathon with Franco.
- What a bad photo. - I think it's ugly!
They took it in the morgue, after having fished it out of the Tiber!
Franco Astuti, I declare you under arrest for the murder of Carla Balestra!
- Is it clear or are there other misunderstandings? - I'm innocent !
And I am the Aga Khan! Marshal, let the superwitness in!
With pleasure, Commissioner!
Please.
- Do you want to repeat what you said to me first? - I do not know anything.
I just confirmed that after the dance marathon...
..Carla and Franco they had an argument.
That's enough. You will tell the rest to the judge.
Since Sunday evening, that is, since the evening of the dance competition...
..the girl was never seen again.
The landlady of the pension where she lived, she first reported her missing...
..and then he identified the body.
And would you listen to a crazy old woman? She even saw the Madonna once.
Don't worry ! You too will see the Queen of Heaven!
As the Latins say: "Regina Coeli"!
- Marshal! - At your orders, doctor. - Put them in the lockup.
This is where I put it: with males or females?
- With the feminists! At the wall ! - Well ! - Street !
"I love you, my darling!"
Stop! Good one, this one! Well done!
So, you are Cleopatra, the queen of the Nile.
You are Marco Antonio.
There are a few days left until the battle of Anzio and you are worried.
Almost... a premonition.
Love for her dwells on your face...
and worry to fight against Rome.
Please, guys, for this scene, your eyes!
They must be expressive, expressive!
- Doctor, what is the shot? - Close up on her butt.
- Very good. - Let's go.
Stop, don't move! She stays still, like this.
- Stop ! Dirty people! Where ? - Where is who?
Where is that girl... What is her name? Nini Pompon!
I would like to know too! She was summoned for today at eight and she hasn't been seen.
So, because of her, we will have to suspend the inquisitor's comic.
Rest assured that he will suspend it for a while! I'll tell you!
And what is she doing there, all naked! Shameless Messalina!
She cover herself! She cover herself, shameless girl!
Mimi... Inside! All in 1 Throw them in, these dirty people!
At your orders, Mr. Magistrate. She's not coming?
Now I'm going to a trial, then, seeing that I'm in Rome, I'm visiting my nephew.
- If necessary, look for me at his place. - Excuse me. - Go ahead.
Shameless! Sodom and Gomorrah!
Inside !
Ugh, what a beard...
Hey ! Let me get a look at you. But you are Carla!
- Unfortunately. Why ? - But weren't you in the morgue?
Are you crazy ? I was in Piazza Navona, I even slept there for three nights.
Then, while I was having a beer with these companions...
..two "madames" in plain clothes arrive and they arrest us for vagrancy.
Marshal! Marshal! Marshal!
- What do you want ? - I want to talk with the commissioner, it's important.
That's exactly how it went. I'm alive !
And I told him it was all a misunderstanding and that she was seeing the Madonna.
- I've had enough of everyone! Out ! - Go, quickly! - You leave me !
So who is the one caught in the Tiber?
Please, don't get involved too!
Yes, it's me, Commissioner.
What do you say, Commissioner? At that time I just have to resign.
- All right. - Are you feeling sick, doctor?
- Very bad ! - Calm down!
- An aspirin. - Right away. - Do you know what the boss told me? - What ?
The police caught the killer of the "worldly" of Ponte Milvio.
- Very good ! And who was he? - A note retired public safety officer!
Just like in fairy tales: "All's well that ends well."
How happy I am !
- Strange, there's no one there. - They will have finished working.
And how ? Without me they couldn't.
They will have replaced you. There are many "sluts".
Especially with the skirt instead of trousers!
- I'll give you a "honeydew", you know? - Nicole! Enough, come on. - Excuse me.
But are you very interested in this job?
I did it out of nonconformity and because I've always enjoyed causing scandal.
Then you don't have it against those who are different.
Why should I have it? After all, I am too, right?
Accountant ! Where are the others ?
- Everyone "in the shop"! - As ? - "To the shop"!
The police have arrived with a magistrate.
It happened worse than the Friuli earthquake!
Excuse me, what was this magistrate like? Can you describe it to me?
He was a big, dark man, with a mustache and crazy eyes.
Do you want to see that it's my uncle?
That stuck for me with Ninì Pompon!
Forget about it ! That one is in Spoleto!
And then, of "truffles" like him there are dozens of them!
In Rome, in Viterbo, even in Peretola.
One had the Orfei Circus closed because an elephant peed on the track!
Maybe, but I'm not at peace.
You tell me... I'm shitting myself.
- So, have you understood what you have to do? - I think so. Do you want to see ?
Good, but a little...
Turn down the music, there's a message on the answering machine.
Dear Franco, I'm here in Rome. I'll stop by your place around eight.
Wait for me. Uncle Gustavo.
I said he was my uncle!
He said, "At eight o'clock"! That he was always punctual in his life!
- We are lost! - Let's leave before he arrives.
No, that's the risk to meet him on the landing.
We are dancing and we have to dance.
- We barely have time to clean up the House. - Yes soon !
- Here you are... - I'll put it here.
Away with these too. Anna, the light!
Damn, how heavy!
Here you are ! As usual, break your balls! Ugh!
She's quiet for a moment! Rather, Nicole, we are in your hands.
- Please note, no false steps. - Don't worry, he won't even notice.
Could you do me a favour ? Are you going to the bathroom?
In the bathroom ? But, darling, why? What are you worried about?
Do you think I don't know my place? It's not the first time we've welcomed people.
And even though I was born in the Quarticciolo, I received a great education!
But at least the other times you had shaved!
The beard ! Frank! The beard !
- Franchino, I'll be quick! - It's not the case ! Curse...
- Finally ! - Sorry, uncle.
Well done, I see you followed my advice.
Miss Anna Maria Immacolata! What a pleasure to see you again!
The father, the Honorable, how are you?
Fine thanks. Is always in Treviso, his constituency.
- The work... - Yes.
- Was he watching TV? - Yes, the interview with a nun.
- Don't give compliments. - Thank you. - You can watch TV too.
- You know, I think I have too the vocation. - Gentleman...
- Do you really want to become a nun? - Yes. - This ruins everything.
On the other hand, when the Lord calls, there is only one thing to do: run!
- Ouch! - What's up ?
- She must have been my cousin. -She has a cousin!-And no?
Franco, where did you put it new blades?
What is this cousin like?
It's not that... she's very beautiful. She's a bit of a masculine guy.
Typical Teutonic beauty!
The woman does not have to be beautiful, she must be a good girl...
..like the young lady, all family!
Nini Pompon, the sexy queen of the sexy photo novel!
Hello lads.
Nini Pompon? I have to see your face this dirty girl, because...
Miss, get out of there.
- I don't understand some girls. - Imagine me!
Miss Immaculate, excuse me... please...
Excuse me, let me... Let me see, miss.
Ah! Oh mama !
- What happens ? - The lights went out.
I'm afraid of the dark! Let's get out of here!
There's no need to worry, miss! Franco, check the valves!
Yes... yes, uncle.
Excuse me, but I have to see in the face of that shameless girl...
..because I have to send her to prison!
Franco, won't you introduce me?
Yes... Nicole, Anna's cousin. My uncle, the magistrate Sparvieri.
- Pleasure. - Very honored, miss.
Franco always talks a lot about you. Her.
- Yes ? - Yes. Why today in Rome?
Duty, miss. Yes, but one thing extremely unpleasant and disgusting.
I had to attend to a lawsuit against two homosexuals...
..who lived more uxorio!
- Wasted Youth ! - Charred!
Those are people who need to be eliminated. The Persian, Khomeini, is right.
Those are people who should be shot! We need to put them on the wall!
- Nicole! - The swoon? She passed out! Let's undress her!
- Ninth ! - What can we do ? - I don't know... - A sambuchina?
- How sensitive... - I suddenly got hungry!
- Right now ? - Why not shall we go to the bar to get a sandwich?
- But your cousin is ill... - I'm fainting from hunger.
Does she faint too? Look though that for me it is necessary to undress her.
Here, Franco, you think about it.
- Has the murderer gone away? -Yes, for the moment, but he will return.
- Let me remove the coffin! - Yes, take it off, it's bad luck.
- What's all this haste? - Please, I'm starving!
An idea came to me: why don't we go to dinner all together? You are my guests.
- Just the idea of ​​dinner makes me come nausea. - Wasn't he hungry?
Yes, well... I think... Do as you want, anyway...
Perfect ! Allows ?
Saint Anthony, if you get me out of this mess, I swear I'll wear pants!
How am I? - You can go.
Go open it.
- What an idea ! What an idea ! Miss Nicole, how are you feeling? - Very good.
That's better ! I have decided to invite you in a fantastic place!
"The hole of San Francesco"! He knows him ?
It's formidable, believe me. Happy?
- But I... I'm all like this... - Why, like that! He's doing great!
- His brother ? - Yes.
An impressive resemblance! Two drops of water. Twins ?
What has ? I see her pale.
Cheer up, now one nice steak puts her back together!
- What a nice place ! - She likes ? - Yes.
- It's a delightful restaurant run by friars. They are all my friends. - Really ?
I'll make her eat tonight little birds that she will never forget!
For goodness sake, enough with the birds.
- What are we doing ? - I don't know, but we have to get rid of him anyway!
- We need an idea. - Yes, we would like an idea.
- At that time ? - I can't come tonight, They are the commander's honor escort.
- I am sorry. - I'm sorry too.
Please have a seat !
- Good evening, Excellency! - Good evening, Brother Martino. How is it going ?
Thanking Baby Jesus, Fra Martino gives good wine...
..and pork butt with rosemary.
I haven't booked, but I would like to a nice table for four. All right ?
Of course ! There's just a table in the corner of San Francesco.
- The coolest place! Please. - He's a poet! Come, Nicole.
- And Anna? -Now she'll join us.
Agree.
- Hey ! - I ? -Yes !
- You come. - Where do I put the trumpet?
What can I serve so you don't die?
- I trust you, Brother Martino. You do it. - Very good.
Giudia style artichokes, Santa Lucia chicken...
...thigh like Mary Magdalene It's the best dinner!
And Lacryma Christi wine so as not to be sad!
For me mineral water. San Pellegrino, it's OK!
How good! I didn't know that Anna Maria she had such a cute cousin!
- Thank you. She flatters me. - For charity.
- Here's Anna. - Finally ! Please.
So, Nicole, do you like it here?
- It's collected, right? Mystical... - Already.
- Will you accompany me? - Excuse me...
Of course ! Please Please.
- Where are they going ? - To the toilet. - Together ?
In a public place it is not advisable that a girl goes to the toilet alone.
- Here they are all friars. - Precisely ! I mean, I mean, it's a habit.
She goes well.
Well done! Just in time. Thanks, brother, we serve ourselves.
- Get involved, Franco. - Yes.
Let's start with the deviled chicken, otherwise Fra Martino will get angry.
- Did you like the rhyme? - Yes. - Please, the plate. - Thank you.
Feel what a fragrance, what goodness!
Mr. Magistrate, he is at the door a sharpshooter. He asks about his sister.
Heavens, my brother! - So ?
My cousin is a terrible man, all of one piece. He doesn't want Nicole to go out at night.
He finds it here, he is capable of causing a scandal.
- Nicole, go and lock yourself in the toilet. - Excuse me. - Please. - How scary !
I do not understand. It's a dinner between... And then there is me.
But you are a man, Your Excellency! And what a man, so virile!
Thank you. I'm flattered.
I confess that sometimes certain instincts... me too...
But I know how to challenge the situation, I know how to control them.
I do not doubt it. But a woman who is close to her can do it?
Can you resist her charms? She does not have Did you see how Nicole looked at her?
Yes ?
My God ! Hate !
Excuse me, a conditioned reflex. Did I hurt her?
No, no, I didn't hear anything...
Come on, let's hurry. Take off my bra. Here, good.
Come here. You keep this one like this.
- I'll wear your hat. Take off trousers. - Even the trousers?
- Yes. Do you have underwear? - Certain. - Good boy. Take off your pants.
- Cute, my Bersagliere... - There won't be any danger?
There's no danger, don't worry.
Let's hurry, hold my skirt. Don't look at me.
Miss Nicole Does she have to stay hidden much longer?
Who knows ? Brother of him is so strange.
He's not the only one here. And then the Bersaglieri they are so fascinating. Right, Franco?
Bersaglieri or non-bersaglieri, This story is annoying.
When someone goes out with me he needs to stay calm.
My seriousness, authority of my charge, my severity...
..my impeccable morals!
- I don't understand what there is to laugh about what I said. - I have hiccups.
Give her some water. Seven sips without stopping and see what happens.
It's a safe system.
- Excuse me Miss ! - Look what a mess my blouse has made!
- I'll clean it right away. -She arrived today from Milan ! - Saint Francis, help me.
What's happening ? How strange. It had never happened to Fra Martino.
Already.
Nicole! Nicole! Where's Nicole?1
If my sister is here, I'm making a mess!
My sister is a virgin!
I meant: my sister is a minor!
How dare an old "owl" how do you like to carry it around at night?
Young man, calm down, You know who I am ?
Gustavo Sparvieri, magistrate of Spoleto!
The whole of Italy looks at me like the last bastion of morality! Clear ?
- Your worries are unfounded! And stand at attention! - Yes.
- Mr. Magistrate, they want it on the phone from Spoleto. - Thank you.
Sorry, I'll be right back. And say hello!
- What should I do now? - Get lost! You have Have you ever seen a Bersagliere dressed like this?
- And you two? - The two of us, what? Go, see you later at the disco!
- Go ! - Turns out I don't care.
How did you do that to fall in love with a Bersagliere?
You know, I started with toy soldiers of lead. When I was a child.
Speak slowly, otherwise I don't understand "a tube"!
They took advantage of his absence!
They screened the film "Experiences homosexuals of a sixteen-year-old nymphomaniac".
Then they did even striptease!
- The striptease? - Yes sir! Whole wheat !
Marshal, stop everything, seize everything, arrest everyone!
- If necessary, resort to weapons I'll be there in a minute ! - Yes, sir !
Crazy stuff...
- Incredible ! Crazy stuff ! - What's up ? Bad news ?
- I have to go back to Spoleto immediately. - What a pity ! - I know. But Nicole?
-She passed away. -She was afraid to meet her brother.
Strange guy, that boy... with painted nails...
One would imagine they would be also reached the armed forces...
Now I'll take you home. Fra Martino, the bill!
- Peter! - Here I am. Everything is fine ? - Let's hope so. Here. - Thank you !
Uncle, you're in a hurry, we can go even on foot. We're so close.
Really ? So, good evening.
Anna Maria Immaculate, many greetings to the father, to the honorable.
- I will not miss. Thanks for the dinner. - Thanks to you. And say hello to Nicole.
- HI. - HI.
- Finally ! - We made it !
- Sorry, I didn't remember. - What are you doing tonight ?
The lighter! Where did I put the lighter?
- Who are you looking for? - My nephew, Franco Astuti.
- He's never home at night. - Yes ? And where does he spend the night?
- At Make-up. - What is this Make-up? Where ?
I mind my own business, anyway it's back here.
- Yes ? Thank you very much. - Please. Not at all.
- You want a drink ? - No!
How pissed off we are! But what's wrong with you?
- I understand, Franco is on to do normal. - Fuck you!
Excuse me. But what is this?
- Get out of the way ! - But has he gone mad? What is it here? Sodom and Gomorrah?
You are a unique subject! You have to come in!
-How dare you? I am the praetor of Spoleto! - Who cares ! Enter !
- Excuse me, do you have to light it? - Of course, I have the lighter... Oh God!
- That's crazy. - This is Satan's house!
- Ugh! - What's up ? - Your uncle. - What ?
- Holy shit... We need to warn Nicole! - Go.
- Franchino, let's dance! - He's here my uncle, you have to hurry away!
-Where is he? - Don't worry, disappear! - Still ? - Hurry up !
- Frank! - Uncle ! - Frank!
I hope you have a plausible explanation to justify your presence here!
Certain. At university we are doing one research on the degeneration of customs.
- I'm here to find out more. - Yes ? - Yes. And what are you doing here?
On the car seat Nicole's lighter was there.
I came to give it to you, but yours doorman told me you were here.
Anyway we can go, I finished my research.
I, on the other hand, have just started. I want to scrutinize this place carefully.
I'm closing this place down, I'll have it disinfected!
If necessary, I'll burn it! Am I right, miss?
- I completely agree, Doctor Sparvieri. - View ?
- What can I do for these beautiful "queers"? - Who is this?
Who do you want it to be? “Golden cock.”
"Smoke of London", Be a good boy, because... I'll kill him...
"The little bird", that's what you mean, right?
- Santa Margherita Ligure! - He feels bad ! You come !
San Benedetto del Tronto! Saint John in Persiceto! I have to pee. Mimi!
Thank you. But what stuff is this?
Here the bathrooms are all shared. I'll wait outside.
No, Franco, wait...
Good evening. No, the fact is that I also had to... Sorry.
Sir, where do I find here from...
- Busy ! - Excuse me, it's just that I...
That's better. Here... Well, but...
Better one breast today what a hen tomorrow...
"O tempora, o mores"! What times, what deaths!
Please make yourselves comfortable. But yes, life is beautiful and you have to enjoy it.
Down with the veils and out with the bracelets! Everyone join the pack!
What is this? Scent of a woman!
And now we need a flirtatious touch. The handkerchief in his pocket.
And now a flower, to soften it up!
- Life is beautiful, it's beautiful! - Even the ass, though.
I'm like fireflies...
Miss Nicole! Miss Nicole! Miss Nicole, open up!
Open, please, I beg you. Miss Nicole, what's happening to you?
He feels bad ? Open!
I knew it...
He doesn't answer... The swoon... I'm coming!
-But where did she go? -She must have come out of the little window.
-If you pass through that door, you will find it in the yard. - Yes ? Thank you ! - Please.
"Damn her", my whole sock came off.
Miss Nicole! It happened something ? I heard her scream.
Excuse me, but a brute wanted to enter in the toilet to rape me.
- But it was me! - She...
Yes ! Therefore, as you see it, there is nothing to fear.
- Allows ? This is for you. - Thank you. And this is for her. Helps me ?
"Damn yours"...
- Here you are. She knows I've found it again her lighter? - Yes ? - Yes !
- What an ass! - Beautiful ! Very beautiful, indeed!
I hold her up, these stairs are dangerous.
Be careful, naughty boy. They can arrest you for obscene acts in a public place.
Be quiet, "Abyssinia"! Don't pay attention to him, he is a racist.
Can he know what the hell is wrong with you? You don't say a word.
You're right, but the presence of my uncle inhibits me.
I already have a bigoted father, so I refuse to even think about your uncle!
Everyone makes their own relatives, okay?
You know what ? You bored me!
No !
- Here we go again. - Please, give me a hand.
- What do you want me to do ? - Invent something!
- Another Bersagliere? - Also.
I want to dance with you all night.
I don't know how to dance, and then my brother might arrive.
- I'll send it to Gaeta! - But... I might disappoint you.
- I want to take this risk! - In short, do you understand that I am...
A decent girl, I know! For This amuses me, the idea of ​​leading you astray.
- You'll understand... It took you to lead me astray. - Please ? - Nothing. Let's go.
"Let's throw ourselves"! Come, Nicole! You come !
- Thank you ! - Come, flower between the holes!
- But this is not a tango. - It does not matter !
"Come on with the boogie! One, two, three, four!"
- At that time ? - Ok, but I just do it to save you, and it's the last time!
- You're not suffering from a heart attack, are you? - Yes, I like jumping!
She listens. Do you know who I am? I am Ninì Pompon, the one from erotic comics.
As you said? "Gothic monasteries"?
I'm a little hard of hearing, I had ear infection.
I said I'm undressing, I'm showing off my tits!
Yes, I have narrow shoes! It hurts... Sorry,
- At that time ? -She is gone. - Maybe it's the right time!
Ugh...
Young man ! Young man, Does it give me a boost?
Look, I have a pain in my foot...
Nicole, what do you do? Are you leaving me now?
Just now that he was to create something between the two of us?
What do you want to be born? I can't have children.
Nicole, we will adopt them.
- The trumpet of vice sounds! Let's throw ourselves into the vortex! - You leave me !
- This is marble! - Hands down !
Oh God, here they are again!
You know what ? At this point I really don't care.
You are right. In the worst case, let's finish this dance in Regina Coeli.
- I had a fabulous idea. - Also to me. - I bet it's the same one.
Why don't we leave how two imbeciles your uncle and Nicole and...
And we're going to your house to make love ?
- Right away ! - Right away !
- My cousin is leaving, that's not the case why are we leaving too? - Why ?
You are a judge, a serious person: What are you doing in this bad environment?
Small... naive...
It's not the dress that makes the monk.
Who do you tell!